Generative Collection, 2022
In the late summer of 2021, I was invited to build a generative skull collection of 10,000 NFTs with a brilliant team. This was amidst the first NFT gold rush; the timely project’s scope and scale were alluring. Eagerly, I joined the endeavour, drawing inspiration from my previous work for the collection’s foundational forms.
The generatively created art NFTs featured thirty-second looping animations of skulls with various accoutrements and animating textures, complemented by unique generative soundscapes from Arian Jalali of STRFKR.
In a rush, I built the core skull assets and transferred them to our developer in LA for the next production phase. Within days of handing those files off — my father passed unexpectedly on October 12th.
Integrating the awareness that ‘I’ and everyone I love will expire inspired more kindness and compassion in the relationship with my father in our final years together.
It was peak COVID, and after Dad's brief funeral rites, I returned to work only to learn the files I had submitted needed improvement. 3D animation can be complicated; in my haste, I overlooked essential details. The rapidly changing NFT market and the emergence of other 3D and skull-adjacent projects added to our challenges. These difficulties prompted our experienced team leader to leave the project.
My father's death was an invitation to pause, but I didn't. Despite significant setbacks, complications, and changes in leadership, I continued to push, we continued to push. I began operating in ways that didn't feel right and weren't authentic to me. I chose commerce over my capacity, and things got weird. I finished the art assets in February 2022, but the project faltered. Strained and exhausted, I could not follow through with the launch despite being attached to the outcome. My nervous system had reached its limits. I would experience the exquisite discomfort of failure in the coming months; the collection not launching at that time hit my ego hard.
As my art practice continues to evolve, so does my capacity to receive the full spectrum of that experience and those lessons. Reflecting on it now, I am reminded of art's remarkable ability to illuminate our path, even in the darkest moments. Building the collection became a memento mori meditation spanning months, bringing me into a deeper relationship with life.
you will be missed
